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Maybe It’s Trauma…

Hey friend, today’s post is personal and I’m so ready to share it with you. I’ve said before that I’m a Jesus gal, so my posts on spirituality will always be from that lens. It’s totally okay if that’s not your belief system but I hope you still receive some wisdom from this post. Because it’s real and gritty and necessary to the real conversation of healing from what hurts you.  

One of the things people don’t talk about often when discussing “church hurt” is its impact on spiritual health. I mean it’s easy to stay surface level and say it leads them astray from God and God’s house. But the real-life, day-to-day impacts on somebody’s relationship with God, we don’t dig into as much.  

It’s something I’ve been vaguely aware of but if I’m honest, I minimize it because my healing in this area is still pretty new.

But I had a revelation recently and I hope it frees you

God isn’t man. We are all imperfect people trying every day to become more like God. If we aren’t careful, we will put people on pedestals taking their attention, word, and judgment as a direct reflection of God.  And when those ppl hurt us, like really hurt us….

‘Cause let’s be real, we have scars, we have things that stick with us even years later. Words spoken or interactions had that held weight. That made you feel and move differently afterward. 

In those moments, when people hurt us because we’ve made them the exact reflection of God on earth, we may subconsciously feel that God hurt us. That God didn’t see us.  And we start to move differently spiritually. 

Like maybe not praying as often. Or only coming to God after you tried everything in your power. 

Maybe you feel like God can’t see your struggles, or heal your pain. Like you aren’t worthy of compassion or priority. 

I know, I’ve been there. And I want you to know…

That’s what spiritual trauma looks like. 

I need us to call it what it is. You can be traumatized spiritually just like in any other area of your life. 

And your ability to process, reconcile, and heal from your trauma is not a reflection of your love and desire to have a relationship with God. 

Truth be told, it’s hard to have the kind of relationship you want with God when you struggle subconsciously to separate Him from His people. 

I want you to know that I see you and I understand.

But more importantly, God sees you and understands. 

And He’s still close to you waiting for the moments you can draw near to Him. 

Don’t let your relationship with your trauma keep you from embracing your relationship with God. He can handle your pain.

He will bless what you have to give and heal what you’re recovering from. 

I hope this frees you, friend. 

It definitely freed me. 

See yourself. 

And know I see you too.